Updated: 4 Sept 2014
This is a personal story, an example of the how I discovered where damage was done by toxins, using mind-body techniques such as Visualization (or Guided Imagery), Mindfulness, and Muscle Reflex Testing (Applied Kinesiology). In addition to relieving symptoms, the removal of toxins allowed local tissues to repair which had never been able to since I was born, in some cases.
Furthermore, by finding the emotional links to the toxins, I was able to find out what happened to me as a baby, and all of the puzzle pieces of my life started to fall into place. I understood so much more than just what was wrong physically, why I felt the symptoms that I had felt, why they were not constantly bothering me, why they seemed to get worse under emotional stress, why I constantly had the feeling that I had to devote so much of my resources to “surviving” when no one would think that I should have that kind of difficulty. Adults are not supposed to feel that way, not if they are not starving or not so sick they had to be hospitalized.
These methods taught me how the brain thought at different levels of consciousness, how ideas, as well as language were constructed in the brain. These discoveries only come from extensive use of mindfulness and other mind-body medicine techniques, which trains the nervous system to write new programs for healing and to eventually execute them unconsciously.
I extend my discussion here about removing toxins in this post and refer readers to previous posts Using MRT: Removing Toxins and Emotional Trauma and Toxins for more details about getting rid of toxins and any related emotional trauma. It is critical to note that a person needs a lot of knowledge to use these techniques effectively. Much of the knowledge comes from wanting to understand ALL aspects of how the brain and body work, as well as what the event was that caused the damage.
No physician asks much about what caused the damage, they are there to initiate repair, no matter the cause. Getting the person to talk about the event that caused a broken leg is meant only to get the patient distracted while the doctor examines painful damaged tissue. Neither the details, nor the psychological state of the patient is important to most physicians in these cases.
I argue here, that the state of mind of anyone involved is an important detail. The state of mind of both the victim and the person who is terrorizing the victim tells us not only what happened to the body during the event, but is related to all feelings felt by the victim later when he/she recalls the event. All associations are critical for the brain to recognize so that repair can be made both inside the brain and inside the body.
The following example is a very important one for the discovery of the first toxin that entered into my body as a fetus, since that event would be recalled by the nervous system throughout the rest of development and throughout my life at any time such recall is appropriate (see discussions about how this information is important for the functioning of the nervous system in Emotional Representation in the Brain, and Behavioral and Emotional Responses to Terror)
The description of what my mother did is not accompanied by any visualization of what she did, since I clearly was not there to see it and have no visual memory stored. However, the concepts come to mind because I shared a nervous system with my mother for nine months, and got to talk with her somewhat frequently, starting at age 12. The nervous system signals are probably carried in her voice to me as well as in her touch. I suggest in another blog post, The Content of Our Voices, that our own nervous systems are capable of reading and interpreting these signals from others, giving us more than the words a person says or watching their behavior as a method for reading an individual.
I just figured out something very important. Today is 18 July 2011. I was thinking about the Jaycee Dugard interview and the terror she suffered for 18 years. I was imagining what I would say to people about feeling that terror and how I had to hide my feelings from everyone, to prevent their taking advantage of me. I was already formulating a lecture on how the brain stores information about the location of internal damage, when the words “forty-four” came to mind, as if it was the first word in a sentence. I thought that was peculiar. I asked my brain what that was. It said there were 44 places in the body which were so damaged that they needed my immediate attention. The damage was so great that it was impairing the repair of other damage.
I asked a series of questions, like “In which tissues, was it in…?” and “where was it in the body, was it in….?”, “which cells were involved, was it…?” etc. and got the following information. The damage was not like in the image at the beginning of this post. It was more specific. It involved both regular and irregular dense connective tissue in the pelvis, hands and feet. The damaged regular dense c.t. was found in interphalangeal ligaments in the pinky fingers of both hands, and ventral metacarpo-phalangeal ligaments of the index and fourth toes in both feet. The dense irregular c.t. was found over the sacrum in the dorsolumbar fascia. In all cases there were no channels built-in to carry fluid to deep within the ligaments or aponeurosis. I asked, through more detailed questions, about these channels. They form as a delta where fluid freely flows through mesenchyme. When collagen starts to form, it forms around the channels in the delta, with lots of cross fibers of collagen connecting patches of collagen fibers with each other, both within islands and between islands in this delta. Thus, these collagen fibers will become the “walls” of an internal circulation system, but they do not regulate the flow, nor provide secretions to contribute to the fluid content, as the walls in lymphatic and blood capillaries do. However, these channels increase the likelihood that most of the tissue will be bathed in constantly refreshing interstitial fluids.
I then started to ask more questions about when this loss of correct development occurred and how. I found out that they form as early as the third month, probably when my mother discovered that she was officially pregnant (they couldn’t determine it as early as they do now). I suspected that my mother must have introduced a toxin into me and asked if she had swallowed a toxin, but my brain said “no” to this direct question. I had to ask a lot of questions to guide it to recall the event more fully. This means taking it from some arbitrary first minute of the day, telling me exactly what she did for the next x minutes until it reached the moment when the event causing this developmental upset occurred. The results of my questions are described below.
Throughout the entire time I was questioning my brainstem, using MRT, some images would come to mind, so I could put together a scenario. The brainstem seems to have to go through every image and not jump to the one that caused the damage because it relies upon my conscious analysis for every step of the way to do the interpretation. It cannot tell me what caused the damage on its own.
It seemed that she had laid down on the bed shortly after going to the bathroom. Her first two children (one and three years old) were taking a nap. Her impending pregnancy with me was very much on her mind and she was feeling really upset about it. Those feelings had been building up inside for a couple of months and she sat up in bed, looking at her belly and said out loud, “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you”, the first of many times she said that to me during my first three years of life (“Did this cause emotional trauma in me and thus, did the damage”, “No”. I realized that the fetus doesn’t have enough of a brain developed at this time to get emotional damage). She got up, went into the bathroom, poured some mouthwash into a glass (I asked “did she swallow it?”, “No”), swirled it around in her mouth, spat it out. As she turned to open the bathroom door, she saw a towel had fallen to the floor and stooped down to pick it up. She fell backward very hard onto her butt. She felt bruised and disoriented, and went back to her bed to lie down (“Was this the event?”, “No”).
She remembered she had a load of laundry that had to be taken in from the clothesline out back. She got up, went downstairs, went to the front door, opened it, and jumped with fright as she saw the postman putting mail into the mailbox (“Was this the event?”, “No”). She took it and thanked him, dropped the mail on the kitchen table as she headed out the back door. She picked up the laundry basket, went over to the clothesline and started pulling off dry diapers and clothes. She saw a bird land on the clothesline right where clothing was still pinned to the line. She did not want bird feces dropping onto her clothing, so waved it away, then examining the fabric closely for evidence.
After collecting laundry, she went around to the side of the house where the back door to the basement was. She opened it and started down the stairs, again falling very hard down the short flight of stairs. She was like a rag doll falling both times. She did not care that she was falling and wished that the fall would hurt me. The first one had no effect on me, but the second one did some damage to blood vessels supplying the placenta, which disrupted flow of nutrients partially for a short time until they were repaired.
I thought to myself that it was unlikely that either fall had any effect on the damage in my ligaments and aponeurosis. She was feeling really sore now, put the basket of clothes on the floor and sat down on a chair to catch her breath. She felt depressed, thinking about her predicament, and looked over to the cabinet holding the box of chemicals left by the previous owner (“Aha”, I thought,” so it was toxic exposure that did the damage?”, “Yes”). Mom had discovered them when the family first moved into the house. Right then, she made the decision to “get rid of it”. This was probably the first time she had ever thought about using the toxins to kill something.
She took a bottle out at random, opened it up. The strength of the smell almost knocked her out. She decided this was a good one to take a chance with. I wondered if she ever thought it could kill her. My brain said “yes”, but she must have thought at first that it was worth it to end this pregnancy. Then she immediately thought about the other two children she had, and decided that she would only take a few drops. She picked up the clothes and went upstairs, dropped the clothing onto the sofa, and then went into the kitchen. She figured the stuff would taste terrible and decided to put it into tomato juice (at that time, it came in large cans). She opened up a can and poured it into a small glass, and then put the rest of the juice in its can into the refrigerator. She then opened the bottle which she had put into her apron pocket, poured a few drops into the juice, and drank it quickly.
The chemical was the infamous #23 that had been the most commonly stored chemical in my bones. I had asked questions in all past “treatments” about every toxin, and discovered that the nervous system stores that information as a ranking, based upon its molecular weight and how fast it moves, reflecting electrical charge (e.g. “was it 1?”, “2?”, etc until I got a “yes”). I learned that the ranking followed the periodic table of chemical elements to some degree, since most chemicals are broken down to their constituent ions in the hypodermis. Not all are, e.g. some proteins, carbohydrates and fats, and some inorganic chemicals. However, early on I did not recognize that some of these inorganic chemicals were ones that the nervous system could not recognize as separate from ions of the same molecular weight. I had to teach it to look for “clumps” of protons to determine if a chemical was only one element or made up of several elements so tightly bound together, that the usual methods for its breakdown could not be applied.
The process by which the nervous system determines what to do is very simple but made of three steps. The nervous system can “test” a chemical by releasing known ions and then “sensing” what happens. The change in charge at one end of a compound will cause changes in cells closest to that end, but not at the other end of the compound, which might trigger the release of ions, which then triggers a nervous signal from unmyelinated “visceroreceptors” nearby. Individual segments of the spinal cord then carry a signal (or not) to the medulla, which then analyzes the presence or lack of signal to determine where and what the chemical is (to some degree; it doesn’t know the name we give it unless we teach it that name, using acupuncture point tapping to get the attention of the medulla.)
So I discovered that #23 was not vanadium as I had thought for a long time, but instead, it was a chemical made up of aluminum, boron, and calcium, in an acid, thus, blending with the tomato acids very easily. However, this chemical did a lot of damage and she had severe cramping and intestinal pain with diarrhea within about 20 min after swallowing it. The chemical did a lot of damage to blood vessels in her, going right to the uterus since the body had built up a lot of blood flow to that region when it had made the placenta.
In this way, it moved rapidly into me, targeting all early blood vessels and pooling in regions where the most rapid growth was occurring, in the base of the pelvic region and at the places where limb buds were first starting to form. It was rapidly taken up into some of the hypodermis directly under the apical ectodermal ridges (AER, the first external sign of limb buds, and which direct the formation of the limb bud thereafter). Why there? Because phosphate was streaming to these areas to help direct the flow of calcium for the formation of connective tissue. Phosphate was very attractive to the aluminum which caused this pooling of toxin there.
Details Critical to the Brain
There are many details in the above narrative of what happened that are critical to my brain, not just to my mother’s brain. Why? because there are concepts, objects, actions, people and places in the narrative that are now permanently associated with this toxin, and any recall of these by my brain, either consciously or unconsciously, will trigger the movement of this toxin out of areas where it is being sequestered, causing more damage. Every time the toxins move, the nervous system sends commands to the body tissues to sequester them, since the body has no way to remove toxic chemical elements. (The liver can only break down toxic chemical compounds to their elemental form, and only those compounds that do no harm to blood vessels. In this way, some toxic chemical elements can be moved to the liver via the blood vasculature). In order to find all areas where it is sequestered, I had to relate all details of what happened so that the brain would scan where these details are stored and use them to guide it to these sequestering spots. It scanned both the storage areas of the original memory, but also where later memories of this event were stored in archival memory banks up to the most recent present-day memory banks. See Toxins.
The relevant concepts, objects, actions, people and places are:
- “I hate you”,
- spit out,
- laundry basket,
- front door,
- kitchen table,
- back door,
- basement door,
- basement stairs,
- blood vessels,
- box of chemicals,
- previous owner,
- tomato juice,
- apron pocket,
- element #23,
- pelvic region,
There are clearly others not mentioned here, since they come to mind as I ask questions about what my mother did from moment to moment.
So the words written above are significant. As concepts in the brain, not as words, they are represented in the brain in many places. They are found in centers where regions and parts of the body, individual organs, tissues, and cells are represented, where concepts are stored, where people, places, or objects are represented, where actions are represented in whole or in components responsible for the individual movements. All of these places are also associated in the other centers with this toxin and with the emotions I felt upon conscious or unconscious recall of the original event. Before I could remove any toxin, I had to remove any blocks to letting the toxins out of their sequestration places. Since all memories will include memories of previous events, the brain will have a chain of associations between memories, memories of memories, and memories of memories, ad infinitum. Thus, in removing the association between toxin and any of these words, the brain had to scan all of these centers where any memory could be associated with the toxin and remove their direct association with where the toxin was stored. Once that was done, the body could signal the movement of ions to regions where the toxins were stored, initiating the movement of toxins to places where they could be sent out of the body.
There are additional constraints that also have to be addressed. Since later events in my life were associated with this toxin but also added other memories that were then associated with this toxin, other concepts, objects, people, places and actions were then added to the landscape. These later events included attacks by my mother and family, which caused PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, “Types of PTSD“). All physiological responses associated with PTSD were then associated in the brain with this toxin. Since these attacks often caused the release of other toxins, these toxins were then associated in the brain with the first one. There were repairs being made at the same time as these other associated events occurred, and all these repairs were linked in the brain to this original toxin. The result of these linkages allows me to conclude that whenever the brain consciously or unconsciously thought about any of these events or anything associated with them, it would trigger PTSD symptoms, emotions and the pain associated with the recall, and symptoms of the repairs that were being made at the time, even if no image or sound or smell associated with the event was recalled (see my blog post on Physiological Responses to Terror).
When I first started to use these methods for tissue repair, I learned quickly that I had to remove toxins first. However, I also learned that the toxins could do such damage that the tissues responsible for transporting the toxins out of the body need periodic repair during the process of removal. I developed programs in my brain to handle repair, guiding the brain along a path of discovering which cell types were damaged, and where (e.g. cell membrane, nucleus, individual organelles, cytoskeleton, etc.). I also had to develop programs for repair at the tissue, organ and system levels, as well. One of the most important steps was to repair both lymphatic and blood vasculature. Another was the connective tissue that invested every organ and within every organ, making sure it was functioning to move ions and macro-nutrients to and from cells by testing whether diffusion was possible. Nervous innervation was critical because I had to be sure that the brain was getting signaled when the tissue needed ions to do the repair and to recognize that not getting a signal was as important as getting one. For this reason, I had to teach the conscious brain how to direct the unconscious brain in methods that the latter did not normally do when it comes to local repair in the body. I have discussed other effects of toxins (see Toxins and the Eyes and Toxins)
Repairing Collateral Damage
All we can conclude about this process of ending bad links and removing toxins is that it can be a very complicated process, excruciating in detail, and takes a long time to complete, especially if the original toxin exposure happened very early in life and got repeated often and was not accidental, causing tremendous emotional trauma. Finding these associations is critical for repair. I discuss the prevention of this kind of damage in Special Case of Type I PTSD–Rejected Children.
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© Copyright 2014 by Martha L. Hyde and https://marthalhyde.wordpress.com.